Since I get such a kick out of blathering on about this stuff, I'm continuing the discussion of the animation HESUS JOY CHRIST / Matthew's One Too!
Verses 7 & 8 The Gospel of Matthew, Chapter One, New International Version
7 Solomon the father of Rehoboam, Rehoboam the father of Abijah, Abijah the father of Asa,
8 Asa the father of Jehoshaphat, Jehoshaphat the father of Jehoram, Jehoram the father of Uzziah,
Verse 4 text of the animation Matthew's One Too ! written by R David Foster
Second to initiate was Miranda, who was stolen by Jane to the first policing, but no union .
It is a One and it is alive. Dana was the first person to make a deliberate significant attempt to date me. She told me she had a crush on me since grade nine, at a grade thirteen high school dance. I doubted it, but she got her friend to lie to me to confirm it. She was the first to initiate a relationship with me, albeit a dubious one. So it could be said that she endured all of high school for our relationship.
Within four months of leaving high school, having broken up with Dana sometime in April or May, I was on my way to the arctic, to a place called Povungnituk, to work for the Hudson's Bay Company's Northern Stores. It was a place where no matter how screwed up the company store was, it would still turn a profit since the only competition, the Innuit Co-op, was even more screwed up, and furthermore, everyone got a government cheque with the only place to spend it being the Bay. I thought frequently of Dana, who was at Carlton University in Ottawa, as well as my other friends, who were mostly all at university somewhere or other.
I came back after a month, when the manager told me not to go walking in the tundra, which was the last redeeming reason for being there. I worked at the Patisserie, as I had in that summer, and was targeted by Bina, in her retaliation against the Patisserie owner, for a one night stand. Casual sex is a waste of time. I still thought of Dana.
I continued with my pursuit of isolation, to hear my own thoughts and develop my self reliance, as well as cultivate an independent way of life. I paddled my kayak from the Old Mill on the Humber River, past Toronto, to as far as Port Whitby, where I called to be picked up, as frequent beachings of my kayak had worn my hull so much as to make it leak. I then re-fiberglassed the hull by September, and headed out from Buckhorn, on the Trent-Severn Waterway, past Fenelon Falls, to as far as Talbot Lock, the last lock before Lake Simcoe. I was lifted down in my kayak through the Kirkfield Lift Locks, and that was a thrill. I did not like the idea of the battling the five o'clock wind from the west all the way up the east shore of Lake Simcoe, and I had been out for three days. I had my fill of solitude, as discussed in the next section, entitled The Birth of the Created . I thought of Dana, and Sharon.
So after talking to Jeff, who had also briefly dated Dana, and calling her mother, I was on my way to Ottawa to choose Dana. She was confused by my bold approach, which was honourable. She fudged it, and after about a month of long distance phone calls we broke up again. Within three days I was dating Kim, who had strong ideas of her own, and I was just not up to speed with her convictions. I was learning at a late age. By June I was in the aircrew selection process of the Canadian Armed Forces and staying in a Hotel near Downsview, with the other candidates. Wendy was on a graduation trip from a small town in Ohio, and jumped at the chance to date a prospective military pilot. Being more of a long distance runner than a body builder, I was only offered a navigator position, and by then Wendy had lost interest, partly because I fell on my motorcycle and chose to take the bus to visit her in Ohio for a weekend.
When I 'chose' Dana, it was with the conviction that I wanted to be married – a monogamous lifelong relationship. I decided to start with Dana as she was the last one who may have had an interest in me. She did not know herself well enough to know whether she wanted to be in a relationship. She was at the stage I was at in grade one, with Tina. She was confused by my approach. I gave Bina a chance, even though the idea was still forming in my mind, that I wanted to be married, and she did not take it. Kim overlooked the relationship and was focused on worldly issues rather than knowing where she stood and what she wanted, with regard to relationships. To Wendy I would have made a nice trophy. These are all reasons people live for, and there are many, many reasons to date, let alone marry, other than the pursuit of a lifelong monogamous relationship. It is a minefield out there, to this day.
Keeping track of all this, there are milestones along the way. Falling off of my motorcycle, at 130 kilometres an hour, while passing a truck on the 401, due to a severe wobble in my front wheel that had my arms whipping forward and back to hold onto the handlebars, counts as a milestone. I thought I was going to die, which I welcomed, but the idea was communicated to me that I would not die, and I responded with the desire that no harm should come to me, and none did. Years later, after minor repairs and a sprucing up, sporting a polished dent in my gas tank, I headed past that place on the 401 and out to Newfoundland. This was the first cycle fall, of three. The evening of that fall, I was in the Brunswick House, at the corner of Brunswick Avenue and Bloor Street.
Labour Day weekend saw me in the Brunswick House again, happy to be alive and fully enjoying life, albeit single. A group of women walked up to those gathered around our table so I asked one what her number was. She answered with “got a pen?”. This was Miranda, and she counts as the second to initiate, albeit dubiously, in the same manner as Dana. Like Dana, she did not know what she wanted, or rather only knew what she did want, which had yet to be tabled. I found I could call her about every two weeks – more often would spook her, and less often would cause her to feel abandoned. I had found a prospect with staying power. She lasted for almost a year, even without my having to perform the horizontal mambo, until Jane stole me away from her, even though in that year I had completed proof of academic ability and been accepted into Miranda's university, York-U, or yuck-u. Miranda's dithering wore me out and Jane wanted to be with me constantly. I felt like I abandoned Miranda, but she was too distant for me to pursue further.
I thought that men and women were the same, with thoughts as thoughts and emotions as emotions, but I was wrong. Why were all the women, intelligent enough to attend university, still at the level I was at in grade one ? Why did they too, see me as immature ? There was an obvious disconnect. Their awareness was drastically different than mine. I was a child to them, and they all seemed like children to me. There seemed a vast unknown territory that I had only peered into from the outskirts, through a small peep hole. My ignorance was about to astound me.
Matriarch
- Emily My Mother
- Linda The girl next door
- Tina Grade One
- Patricia Grade Four
- Mia Grade Six
- Marcelle Lesser Matriarch
- - Jacqueline Summer Camp
- - Marysse Grade Nine
- - Dorcas Grade Ten
- Dana Grade Nine to Thirteen, – commitment to Marriage established, & 1987
- Kim
- Wendy The First Cycle Fall
Jane went back to Waterloo, with her stuff and me in my parents station wagon, and I returned to attend York, while she attended Waterloo. Then the contact became infrequent, until a birthday card came back to me, unopened. I was determined to get to the bottom of this, and by the grace of a police officer, got back to Toronto without being charged. I had to walk up to his police car to get him to acknowledge me, as I sat in front of Jane's rooming house, trying to figure out what was going on. It did not help that as I realized the voice on the other end of the phone who said “good-bye David” was Jane, the phone booth was rocking due to an earthquake. Late November 1988 – look it up.
I was in shock, like a suicide spectator. This was really big, and I was standing on it's doorstep. I would have to develop a new understanding and be very open to whatever may come. As far as women were concerned, I was a child, and as far as I was concerned they were like a child. We both must grow if we are ever to see eye to eye. I am partially skilled but wholly juvenile. Women were partially juvenile but wholly mature. The One could barely exist in such an ignorant environment. I resolved to learn as much as possible, and never condemn a child, nor turn away one wanting to stay.
By Jehoshaphat, Solomon was a wise man. In today's readings from the book of Kings, Solomon asks for wisdom to discern righteousness from evil. The story I remember though, is where two women both claim an infant. Solomon orders the infant to be divided between the two women, with a sword. The real mother protests and offers up the child to whoever will take it whole, and Solomon presents the infant to her. This is how to act as a part of a whole. This is real knowledge and not just the accumulation of facts. This is revealed to children and lost to the worldly wise. This is the wisdom of the One, and I would need it to pursue my goal of marriage.
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Sunday, July 24, 2011
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