Monday, April 20, 2009

How to break a leg . . . ....

So to save money, or even consider it earning money, as it takes the same time to commute by bicycle as it does to commute by public transit, I passed High Park Zoo on my way from my brother's place near Roncesvalles at four-thirty in the afternoon of Thursday March 26, 2009 . I had to ride since bicycles are not allowed on the Go train at that time due to it being rush hour .

I went along Queensway to Royal York and then down to Birmingham and across to Kipling. Then I continued down Kipling to Lakeshore and ploughed through to Southdown where Lakeshore becomes Royal Windsor . On my mind was that I would be alone again after about three days of babysitting for Jean-Jacques and Gordon .

I am not use to being alone as I was when I was younger, partly because I never know when my solitude is going to be interupted and I have to be attentive to someone else, interupting my soliloquy . Looking back to four weeks ago I am much more accustomed to solitude now, mainly thanks to the twenty hours of work I've put into the animation I am working on now . On my mind was whether I want to figure a way to finance an extended paddling venture, and beaucoup solitude, or invest my time in artwork toward self-sufficiency, bending everyone's ear in pleading for a nickel here or a penny there . People or Perfection . That is the dichotomy I was rolling around in my mind as I came to near Trafalgar, on South Service Road .

Usually I just cut across the field and climb the hill up to the Trafalgar - QEW overpass, to avoid going around the car dealership where I will only have to climb back up from the intersection, after waiting for the traffic, adding about five minutes for no good reason . . . other than to act civilised and follow the path well trodden . That was my decision, stay in society or get the heck out and bushwack across the field to climb the embankment . I couldn't decide in time, so when I did decide I turned too sharply to the right, and with too much on my mind I neglected that I was on gravel, cars not usually tipping over, and me still new to riding, relatively, and went down on my right side. Usually this is just a wipeout with a dusting, but for some reason I put my right foot down and tried to stay up . . . . stoooopid . My right foot got twisted and pryed outward and I knew I was hurt . I got up immediately and walked to the embankment where I rested and checked the time : five-fifty pm . I matched my time to the Patisserie when I came from even farther . I was proud of my time .

Half way between home and the hospital - what would they do with my bicycle ? - I walked home stopping three times to rest and curse - " forget marriage, I give up man !! " If no-one wants me around I'll just stumble through; if this decision to leave society and cross the field to climb the embankment is resulting in this negative reinforcement .

Whatever . . .. .. I'll wait to see if someone will pay me voluntarily and let it go at that. If I get enough solitude by December 14, then I'll decide if I'm outta here or not . If anyone wants me around they should stand up and be accounted for 'cuz at forty one years old I'm not interested in manipulating appreciation - or even managing it .

There you go - a nice little literary literal composition . It was a crack in the lower fibula and my pulse was around 40 when the ambulance came the next day . They filled me with a litre and a half of fluid and tried three times to get my finger to bleed for a blood sugar reading, and had to warm my hand before getting it to bleed because the 1500 ml of fluid was too cold .

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